Cleaning Up

When Eric and I were newlyweds, we got into a big argument. It was tragic.

See, I had my way of doing things. I liked things neat and orderly. I even liked my towels to be folded and put away in a neat and orderly manner. You fold them in half, then half again, and then you turn it and fold it in thirds for a pretty little package. Then, you stack them neatly together so that all the pretty edges are showing. When you put them into the closet, you stack the towels neatly on top of the other towels that are folded just the same. Heaven forbid a towel enter my life that wasn’t the same size as the others.

Eric was decidedly not on board with this program. He folded his towels in half, in half again, and then in half one more time. They were stacked in no particular order and then put in the closet.

This was not good enough for me. There is a right way to do things, after all! I just wouldn’t give up and I couldn’t understand why he didn’t see the virtue of my system and change right away. Things got a little contentious.

Looking back, it seems a little (a lot) silly. These days I’d just be saying, “Oh, my! Look at all those clean towels and they are folded, too!”

This is the fate of towels in my house today. If you ever come to visit, you might want to bring your own towel as I don’t think any of the towels from early in our marriage are serviceable at this time. Perhaps it is time to put guest towels on the shopping list…

So, anyway… I think it’s safe to say that I have fallen far, far away from my rigid cleaning of the old days.

Having so many littles will do that to you! When my babies were babies, I took the approach of this poem.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow

For babies grow up we’ve learned to our sorrow

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

I’m proud to say that I did just as the poem suggested. I kept my head above water (most of the time) when it came to house cleaning, but I let a lot of things slide in the interest of caring for my little ones. I don’t regret that.

Here I am for the first time in years without a baby to rock. Sam lets me hold him for a bit in the evening before bed, but during the days I find myself being needed less and less.

It’s time.

I want my house back. I want to have guests come to visit without cringing inwardly and hoping they won’t notice the mess.

I want to teach my children the discipline of keeping things tidy.

I want to find my craft room under the junk that accumulates there.

I’m taking desperate measures.

A few friends have suggested that I try out the FlyLady program.

I need all the help I can get. I’m trying it out. I’m doing the baby steps. I do, in fact, have a shiny sink and I even got up before the children this morning and took my shower and got dressed. I even put on lipstick. I did not, however, put on shoes as she suggests. I’m a country girl. I wear shoes when it’s cold, when I’m going somewhere I may step in manure, or when I’m going to town. I do not wear shoes in my house. Around here, sidewalks and pavement are luxuries. Shoes and carpet just don’t mix, so even our guests tend to ditch their shoes at the door.

Ahem… But anyway, I’m trying to do as she says and follow those cool baby steps. I no longer care how the towels are folded, but it would be nice to have some clean and folded. I want my house back.

Gotta go, ladies. I’m going to see what FlyLady says about baby step #3.

By the way, if you want to join in and share your progress, “like” my silly little blog on facebook. We can post about our progress there and encourage each other. Hope you’ll join us!

A New Phase

My four kids were born 22 months apart each time. No, we didn’t plan it that way. I dare you to try to make that happen. ;)

Some things are just meant to be. Doesn’t hurt that I like things nice and symmetrical, evenly spaced, girl-boy, girl-boy.

I like the spacing between my littles. It means that the girls are about 3 1/2 years apart, just enough space that they can play together but not so much space that there is much competition. It’s the same way with my boys. It has made for a lot of fun.

Having children born 22 months apart each time also means that I spent a great deal of time pregnant or nursing. As a matter of fact, I was either pregnant with a baby or nursing a baby from August of 2002 until February of 2009. Really.

When my littlest was 22 months old, I couldn’t help but feel something was wrong. It was time for another little one. My body disagrees, though. After 4 c-sections, I’m done making babies. I know that I’ve been blessed tremendously, but I couldn’t help feeling sad. I’ve loved having babies in the house. I love holding them close, kissing their nose and toes. I love the smell of their hair, especially after a bath. I love the cute little sleepers and the sweet little cries. Can you blame me for mourning the passing by of that part of my life?

Suddenly, I find myself the mother to a two year old and there is not a baby in my arms. This is new territory for me. Usually, I’m struggling to get through the two year old tantrums while nursing a little one. This is very different. Strange. And much easier!

I guess I’ve entered  new territory in this journey of mothering my children. I’ve gone from spending nearly every waking moment caring for basic physical needs to caring for a very different set of needs.

Suddenly, the majority of my time goes to teaching my children civility. Civility - the act of showing regard for others. It’s not just breaking up squabbles over toys, though that is a part of it. It’s teaching them to let each other go first when washing hands. It’s reminding them to save the last cookie for Dad when he’s away at work. It’s struggling to get them to use very quiet voices when we visit our very small local library. It’s the little stuff of considering the needs and feelings of others in the little things we do each day. Civility.

Honestly, I like this phase of motherhood. It’s pretty nice to be able to sit on the porch swing and watch my children play together. I love watching them try to work out their little squabbles together. I love seeing them do little acts of kindness. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to play such an active role in their lives.

This phase is different, but it’s good. I guess I’ll always feel that little sadness when I hear a newborn baby cry. I’ll miss that time of my life. This time is special, too! I’m going to embrace being a momma to little kids and enjoy every minute I get. I know that like being a momma to babies, this phase of being a momma to little kids will be over before I’m ready.

Thankful Thursday

Today, I’m counting my blessings and sharing them with you. Hope you’ll do the same and share your blessings in the comments.

 

Today, I’m thankful for…

Warmer weather and kids playing in the woods again.

Clothes hanging on the line.

The crocus, daffodils, and herbs that are beginning to grow in my flower beds.

The kids’ help in cleaning out the garden yesterday.

The seeds planted in my raised bed that will soon become spinach and lettuce!

 

A Guilty Pleasure

Wednesday nights are my guilty pleasure. Honestly, I do feel guilty.

I send my husband and my four littles off to church on their own while I stay at home or go do some grocery shopping.

I’m terrible, don’t you think?

There’s a part of me that really wants to go along and find a great bible study to join. The folks at our church are really terrific and I love learning with them. I know that I’m missing out on some great stuff.

I guess when it comes down to it, I know that I can serve God and my children better if I take this night to recharge a bit. I hate to call it “me-time,” because that brings to mind someone going to get a pedicure and buy a purse. Not that I’d mind doing those things (or going for a haircut without taking along the four kids for that matter), that just isn’t what happens here on Wednesday nights.

Eating a bowl of chili in front of the computer before I go off to hang up the massive amounts of laundry I took off the line this afternoon just can’t be described as “me-time.”

Really, it’s just “nobody needs me right now time.”

It’s awfully nice.

I’m a lot nicer for having had a little of this time to myself, too.

Even Jesus went off by himself from time to time to think and pray. No surprise that I would need an hour or two to myself on occasion.

Everyone needs a bit of time alone. A little “nobody needs me right now” time.

 

Now, off to do the laundry.

Hope you’ll leave me a message and share how you find a few minutes to yourself. Do you ever feel guilty for it?

 

Oh, and by the way… I am not suggesting that you quit going to your Wednesday Night Bible Study. ;) This is just the only thing we have found that works for us at the moment. Hopefully this isn’t how it will be forever, but it is how it is for now.  And that’s all I have to say about that. ;P

Keeping Order in My House

I like a clean house, not that I remember mine ever being clean. I aspire to be that mom that has it all together. The one with a spotless kitchen that smells of freshly baked cookies and features clean-faced children sitting nicely at a table.

Um. Yeah. That’s not my life.

My kitchen is the one with flour on the floor, a half eaten banana laying on the table, and four kids running in and out.

It’s not what imagined my house would look like. It is nothing like the pictures featured in my favorite magazines.

Right now, my basement is such a wreck it’s hard to walk though. The only reason the main rooms are not a mess is that I’ve gone all “mean momma” and make everyone clean up after themselves all the time. Please tell me this gets easier.

I do think it’s important to keep a neat house. It’s good for everyone’s sanity. It’s good for kids to learn the self-discipline of cleaning up the toys, too.

It’s so hard to teach that kind of discipline when it isn’t something that comes easily for me. I don’t really like cleaning, especially when it must be done while chasing a two year old through the house to keep him from undoing whatever I just finished. If I must clean, at least let it be done and over with in one marathon of super-mom-strength cleaning power. All these stops and starts really undermine whatever ambition I might have summoned to get the job done.

Fact is, I’d rather do almost anything other than cleaning the house. Give me some fabric and a sewing machine. Give me the sun on my back and some weeds to pull. Give me a cake to bake. Give me a hike in the woods with my littles. Give me a can of paint and a blank wall or porch swing that needs a fresh coat.

Thing is, I like having people come over to visit and I’d rather not cringe when they ask where the bathroom is. I don’t want to have to rediscover my kitchen every time I need to fix a meal. It would be so nice to be able to check on the kids at night without stepping on toys.

So what’s a mom to do?

Right now, I’m going though everything to purge and/or put away anything that isn’t being used. I’m storing some toys away for rotating later. I’m setting some achievable goals and trying not to let the little accomplishments slip away too quickly.

I’m also taking breaks to write, craft, take warm bubble baths, and traipse through the woods with my darlings.

So if you come for a visit, I hope you won’t ask to use the bathroom. Sam’s potty training and it just isn’t pretty. If you are brave enough to go in there, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I would suggest staying out of the basement, too. Just so you know.

My house is a bit messy. My kids’ shirts are sometimes stained. Sometimes it really eats at me and makes me question my worth as a mother and wife. I’m trying to figure out how to balance my desire for a clean house and my understanding that some things are just more important.

So how do you do it? Do you keep a clean house with spotless floors? Do you let a few things slide? How do you balance the wants and needs and constant work that is required to keep up your home? Can’t wait to hear from you.

Chili

I never knew chili could be served in any other form until I was in my 20’s. I don’t know how widespread this recipe is, but I do know that friends from out of state always say, “We’d heard about you people eating your chili that-a-way.” They always say that with a skeptical look on their face, as if they are thinking we are crazy to call that chili. They always end up eating crow… er, well, chili and enjoying it. So, I hope you’ll enjoy my chili recipe and let me know how similar or different it is from what you eat in your neck of the woods.

Yes, those are noodles in my chili. Some folks use spaghetti and some use macaroni. Some are very stringent about what they use. Me? I just use whichever is the closest in the cabinet.

Start by browning 1 pound of ground beef with a big old diced onion. Season with salt and pepper.

Add an equal amount (about 2 cans) of red beans or chili beans. I use red beans because I prefer to control my own spices rather than having them already in the can.

Also, add enough chili powder to lightly cover the whole thing. You can adjust the amount later if it isn’t enough, but you can’t take any away if you get too much so don’t get too crazy with the spices yet.

Wish I had a little home canned tomato sauce, but the store bought stuff will have to do.

I add two cans of sauce. Then, fill the cans with water and add that. It rinses out the last little bits of sauce and the chili will need that water for cooking up the noodles.

Yum. Let this simmer for at least 30 minutes.

About a half an hour before you plan to eat, add the noodles. I add about 1 cup of macaroni or a small handful, about an 1 inch in diameter, of spaghetti. If you use spaghetti, you will want to break it into small, manageable pieces before adding it to the chili.

This chili is perfect, because it’s a mild recipe that folks can fix up to their own tastes. Even kids will eat this chili! Some folks like to add cheese. Cheddar is lovely, but American cheese will work just fine as long as it’s not that terrible, fake, individually wrapped plastic stuff (but that’s just my opinion). You also need some saltine crackers. Don’t forget to set out the salt and pepper, chili powder, and hot sauce so people can “doctor it up.” Doesn’t hurt to set out the brown sugar, too. A fellow once brought his own bowl of brown sugar to my house, knowing he would want it for his chili. I guess he just wanted to be on the safe side and bring his own just in case I didn’t have any!

This is “Kitten Britches,” and you just can’t serve chili without it. It’s just peanut butter mixed with honey or pancake syrup. Eat it off the spoon or be civilized and spread it on a piece of bread. It tastes fabulous with chili. It also pleases any persnickety kids in the group.

Me? I add cheese and crackers. You’re gonna love it.

So, how do you eat your chili?

A Quiet Week

My silly little blog was pretty quiet this past week, but my house sure wasn’t! Eric climbed on an airplane on Sunday for a week long business trip. I won’t lie. I was really nervous about him going. We’ve been together since I was 19 and never been apart for this long, let alone being apart for this long and me at home alone with four small children. I almost chickened out on Sunday and told him he just couldn’t go and we’d just have to somehow do without income and a house and eating and such. Somehow, I put on a smile (through the tears) and let him go.

What a LONG week! Sunday night, Eric ended up stranded in an airport as not one but two of the airplanes he was supposed to fly on were taken out of service for “mechanical failure.” He could have driven to the place they were going in about 6 or 7 hours, while the trip by airplane ended up taking about 21 hours. Happily, he got there safe and sound thought neither of us got much sleep that first night.

The days were not too bad, I guess because I’m used to him being gone at work. The nights really were pretty terrible, especially when the coyotes decided that spending the night in the field behind our house howling their terrifying, screeching howl would be a good plan.

Thought the week seemed to go very slowly, it did end and I did survive. I even found that I have some very wonderful helpers as the kids really stepped up to the plate and helped me get things done.

All this to say, I’ve missed you all! It’s so good to be back behind my keyboard. I have some good stuff in the works, as soon as I get the laundry done. ;)

Oh and by the way, thanks to all of you who “liked” my silly little blog on Facebook. If finally got the button working (I think) on the side of the blog. Hope you’ll “like” me if you haven’t already. Happy Sunday!